Still totally depressed about Lis Sladen's passing yesterday.

I went through my blog yesterday evening reading things I've written about Sladen over the years. Along with Ian Marter, she was my first Doctor Who companion. She was, when I was eleven, my first crush. She set the impossible romantic ideal in my life -- if I was going to love someone, I wanted to love someone exactly like Sarah Jane Smith.

I loved her return in "School Reunion." Though I didn't always watch The Sarah Jane Adventures, it wasn't because of the stories or the acting, it was because I never made *cough*acquiring*cough* the show a priority. (Only the first season's been aired over here.)

I thought Sladen would always be around. She's younger than my mom!

What amazes me is how... devastated fandom is. Old-time fandom, new-time fandom. All over the world. I can't imagine that when Tom Baker shuffles off this coil that there will be the same outpouring of grief that there's been for Sladen. Everyone loved her.

Now she's gone.

I watched "School Reunion" last night when I got home from work. I don't know how I managed to hold it together through the day. If I weren't on deadline for an article, I'd watch something else, like maybe "Ark in Space," to remember her and Tom and Ian Marter when they were young and when the universe was scary.

The world seems like a colder place today.